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wallflo-er:

tbh i just need a hug

wallflo-er

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

verylittlebird

calumsexual:

TEENAGERS (that sneak into their fave band members hotel rooms and jump in front of their cars) SCARE THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME

calumsexual
westbor0baptistchurch:

*takes copious notes*

westbor0baptistchurch:

*takes copious notes*

westbor0baptistchurch

fartgallery:

readingaroundthemovies:

fartgallery:

i need to date a girl with the initials AG so we can carve SW+AG on benches

Those r my mums initials…,

say hello to your new dad. i see that your tumblr blog contains some vulgar language. you’re grounded

fartgallery
nananarry

"You’re not even mine to miss."

(via fuckingz)

eighteleven-vy
  • Me flirting
  • Boy: Sit on my face
  • Me: But you'll suffocate :(
metalgasm
satans-psychopath:

narcissistic-anarchist:

probably the most attractive couple ever

Guns hidden under our petticoats

satans-psychopath:

narcissistic-anarchist:

probably the most attractive couple ever

Guns hidden under our petticoats

depplover-forever
p4isley

05px:

math

image

05px
wehadfacesthen:

Marilyn Monroe in Korea, February 1954

wehadfacesthen:

Marilyn Monroe in Korea, February 1954
audreyandmarilyn

miank-libra:

annnieknowby

louisloveszayn:

"can i use your phone for a sec?"

"yeah hold on"

image

louisloveszayn

tsarcasm:

trapsical:

I took a shit in my grandma’s cat’s litterbox when I was like 13 and my whole family was wilding out trying to figure out why the cat took such a huge dump. Then they took her to the vet and we found out she has feline HIV so in a way, I helped her.

this story was wild from start to finish